New Year's Reflection

During my quiet times in 2009, I read through the book of Isaiah. Recently, Isaiah 62:6-7 really spoke to me. It reads, "You who put the Lord in remembrance, take no rest, and give him no rest until he establishes Jerusalem and makes it a praise in all the earth."

Those verses were written for the Jewish people centuries ago, but I believe they are still applicable for God's people today. I was particularly struck by the words "take no rest." Since I am a person who loves and craves rest, especially when life gets busy, which seems to be all the time in medical school, I had to stop and think about what that verse means. Surely God wants us to rest and be refreshed. His Sabbath is certainly a day of rest and a time to worship him and refocus and refuel for the week. But I think this verse is talking about a different kind of rest. There are Biblical passages that talk about God's eternal rest, which those who believe in Jesus will enjoy when he comes again and ushers in his kingdom. However, I think this verse calls for a mindset or attitude of perseverance and steadfastness in our pursuit of God's kingdom.

Sometimes I grow weary of life - always adding to my to-do list but never fully completing it. I think I am entitled to some "down time," and I long to just "veg out" with a good movie and ice cream or a long, hot bath. While there's nothing innately wrong with these things, they quickly become idols and stumbling blocks when they take priority over spending time in God's word, calling a friend, or praying. Ephesians 5:15-16 says, "Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the most of the time, because the days are evil." And Galatians 6:9 says, "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." Pursuing godliness, doing good, serving God and others, fighting my sinful tendencies to be selfish and lazy - this is a constant battle requiring effort, vigilance and perseverance. Am I really to "take no rest"? Yep. That's the idea. God is always at work (John 5:17), and I want to be like him. So I need to "press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus" (Phil 3:14).

Thankfully, Isaiah doesn't stop there; he goes on to say, "and give him no rest." We are not alone in our labors. God is also working alongside us and in us. And he promises to complete the good work he began in us (Phil 1:6). So when it seems exhausting and useless, and I am overwhelmed with the burdens of everyday life, plus trying to please God and love my neighbor, and when I think I will never change - then I remember that "he who watches over you will not slumber" (Psalm 121), and Jesus bids me come, exchange my burdens for his yoke, which is easy and light, and I will find rest for my soul (Matt 11:28-29). Thank God that even when I choose to "veg out," he continues to work to establish his kingdom.

For that is the endpoint of the verse in Isaiah, what we are to strive for - that God will establish Jerusalem and make it a praise in all the earth. In other words - that God's will be done, his kingdom come, and glory be to him forever and ever, Amen.

2010 promises to be a year of big changes for me. On May 25, I will become an M.D., and shortly after that, I will begin my residency training in family medicine. People will look to me to make decisions about patients' lives. The idea is both humbling and terrifying. I long to be the kind of doctor who can make calm, wise decisions, even under duress and who can inspire trust and hope in my patients whatever the circumstances. But the reality is that I am far from being the doctor, or even the person, I want to be.

So, I think I want Isaiah 62:6-7 to be my theme verse for 2010. This year, I want to press in and pursue God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. I want to take no rest and give God no rest but make the most of every opportunity to grow and change and pray for God to work in me and do through me the good works he has prepared for me to walk in.

Looking back on 2009, I am thankful for so many blessings.

My family - despite many trials (illnesses, financial struggles), we have a close, loving and supportive family. It is wonderful to be so near my parents and share in their daily lives. They have been a marvelous help and blessing to me during the busy and stressful medical school years. My nieces and nephew are precious and fun - always growing, changing and learning new things. (Photos from Christmas in Washington, DC.) Jenny and Bryan are expecting their second child in February - my nephew John Douglass. This is truly an answer to prayer for a safe, successful pregnancy and a healthy baby!

My church - always a blessing through great, biblical teaching and sound doctrine, worship in spirit and truth, and accountability. Our monthly ladies accountability group meetings are great, and I've started praying regularly with one of the ladies in the group. I wish I had more time to devote to fellowship and serving our church body. Our girls discipleship group is meeting monthly, and it is so encouraging to see what God is doing in the lives of our young ladies.

My roommates - I love having someone to come home to and cook for! But more importantly, having housemates provides ample opportunity to grow in selflessness and humility.

Medicine - I love medical school and am so grateful to be able to pursue such an exciting and fulfilling profession at this stage of life. God has granted me much favor this year, allowing me to win two awards/scholarships for academic excellence and leadership - very humbling and entirely God's doing. Every gift I have is from him, and I hope he will use those gifts to his glory. Spending two months at a mission hospital in Nepal renewed my desire to serve God and the gospel through international medical missions work. Many of the residency programs I am considering have a strong focus on missions. I can't wait to see where God leads next!

Thanks for your prayers and encouragement! I hope to keep up my blog in 2010 with stories from medical school, residency and more.